Short life of Alexandria couple's baby may help other micro

ALEXANDRIA — Natalie Ziegler and Nate Settle don't want to be sad about losing their son, Wesley. The 19-year-olds from Alexandria are both happy they got to spend what little time they had with him, which was almost three months. He was born on Feb. 3, 2023, and passed away on April 30.

Ziegler was just 28 weeks along when Wesley decided it was time to come into this world. What is known as a micro-preemie, he weighed just 15 ounces.

Ziegler, the assistant general manager at the Caribou Coffee on North Nokomis, and Settle, who works at West Central Metal Fab, wanted to share their son's story in hopes of helping others who may someday end up going through the same thing they did.

They want to start a nonprofit in Wesley's memory to raise money for medical machines that could help save the lives of other babies. Machines, they said, that are in Texas medical facilities, but not in Minnesota.

Had Wesley been stable enough, he could’ve been flown to Texas and his life could have possibly been saved, the couple said. But instead of dwelling on the could haves, Ziegler and Settle are moving forward and doing what they can to help others.

They couldn't stress enough that they feel truly blessed to spend what time they could with their son, but now they want to just do what they can to help others.

Ziegler has donated a freezer full and more of breastmilk to the Minnesota Milk Bank. They have donated items to The Mother Baby Center in Minneapolis. They are participating in the 13th annual Halos of the St. Croix Valley's family fun walk/run in August. Halos of the St. Croix Valley helped the couple with all of their son's final arrangements and so now, Ziegler and Settle want to raise money in Wesley's name to help other families. Money raised from the event will help families pay for cremation, urns, burials, flowers and more.

Ziegler and Settle have done some research into starting a nonprofit, but said if anyone has any advice they want to share or if they have resources, they would like to be contacted. They said to send an email to Ziegler at [email protected].

And although they have a GoFundMe started, the couple said they don't need people to donate to them. Instead, they would rather have people donate to the Ronald McDonald House or make donations to the neonatal intensive care unit at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis.

They are grateful for the donations they have received and also for all the support they have received, but now they want to focus on helping others.

Zeigler and Settle, who have been together for more than three years, said they were excited when they found out about the pregnancy.

"We were pretty young, but we weren't scared, we were just excited," said Settle. "We always knew we wanted a baby."

At her 18-week checkup, things started to go south. Ziegler said the baby wasn't growing like he should be and they also eventually found out she had a bad placenta. Wesley, they learned, was in the first percentile for his size and so they were referred to the St. Cloud Hospital. However, because of the high risk, they said St. Cloud turned them down. They were then sent to the Children's Hospital in St. Paul.

Their experience there, the couple said, didn't go so well. They learned that the blood flow from the umbilical cord was reversed because of Ziegler's bad placenta.

Ziegler said at that first appointment, the doctor told her, "It's too late to do a medical abortion, so I’ll see you in a week and take him out because he's going to die inside of you."

They didn't go back. Instead, they ended up at The Mother Baby Center at Children's Hospital in Minneapolis, which their experience went way better. They both said they loved everyone there, especially "Nurse Karen."

They made frequent visits to The Mother Baby Center and eventually, Ziegler just ended up staying there as she was put on bed rest. There were different procedures and meds that she was given to try and help Wesley grow while he was still inside the womb.

He did grow, but just not enough. Wesley's heart rate was also not what it should be. Ziegler said after he was born, Wesley had been diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, which affects the arteries in the lungs and the right side of the heart.

On the day he was born, the reversal blood flow was getting bad, the couple said, and because of it, Wesley's heart was starting to stress out.

"We were told if he stays in any longer, his heart is basically going to give out," said Ziegler. "We were told it was in his best interest to take him out. I was exactly 28 weeks."

That night, Ziegler had a C-Section and Wesley was born. The couple was told that there were going to be lots of ups and downs, that it would be a rollercoaster, but that their baby's outlook wasn't terrible.

He was tiny, weighing in at just 15 ounces, but they said he "was the cutest baby you’ve ever seen."

He was slowly starting to grow and eventually weighed close to 4 pounds.

His parents said he was stubborn, loved to eat, would get mad and pull at his feeding tubes if he wasn't fed at the exact time every day, was strong and would grip really hard onto their fingers, loved the pacifier and that he had the best facial expression ever.

Although he spent all his time in the incubator, Ziegler did get to hold him for the first time on Valentine's Day.

Because of a hole in his heart, Wesley ended up having heart surgery when he was about two months old. And that is when things took a turn for the worse. Wesley was baptized the day after Easter.

Not too long after the surgery, Ziegler and Settle were told about the hospital in Texas that had equipment and doctors that could possibly help with Wesley's heart issues. Ziegler said that the four vents to the heart just get narrower and narrower until they basically clot off. But if they could go to Texas, they could possibly put a stent in, which would help.

They said Texas is the only place that had those capabilities. They were ready to move. They started looking at apartments and jobs. But they never got the chance.

They were told that if there were family and friends who wanted to meet Wesley, they should probably come do it now. His outlook was not improving and because of how unstable he was, the move to Texas didn't happen.

All of Wesley's grandparents got to see him before he passed, including Settle's parents, Patrick and Kayla Settle of Fergus Falls and Sonya Riedel of Alexandria, and Ziegler's parents, Niki and Richard Holden of Barrett and Zach and April Ziegler of Staples.

"At that point, there was nothing they could do for him," said Ziegler. "There was nothing for them to try. There was nothing. We just had to wait for it to happen."

And it did happen. Wesley passed away in the arms of his parents on April 30.

Ziegler said the cause of death was pulmonary vein stenosis, which is actually a rare condition in which there is a blockage in the blood vessels that bring blood from the lungs back to the heart.

"We are just glad we got some time with him," said Settle. "We were told so many times that he wasn't going to live, but we got those three months with him."

Ziegler and Settle are hoping that by sharing their son's story, other micro-preemie babies might have a better chance of surviving. Maybe Minnesota can get the equipment needed. Maybe there can be more education opportunities for doctors so that they can learn how to better handle similar cases. Maybe doctors from one hospital can travel to other hospitals to share their knowledge and expertise.

And maybe, they said, someone can help them start a nonprofit in their son's memory so that they can help other parents and families going through similar things.